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Often,
when feelings seem to overwhelm us and
the world seems to be totally against us, what we really need is a
FRIEND. Somebody who will just LISTEN.
When
I ask you to listen and you start giving me advice, YOU HAVE
NOT DONE WHAT
I ASKED.
When
I ask you to listen to me and you begin
to tell me why I shouldn't feel that
way, YOU ARE TRAMPLING ON MY FEELINGS.
When
I ask you to listen to me and you feel
you have to do something to solve my
problems, YOU HAVE FAILED
ME.
All
that I ask is that you listen, not talk or do, just hear me.
ADVICE IS
CHEAP.
I
am not helpless, maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. I can do for myself. When you do something for me that I can and
need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept, as a simple fact, that
I just feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to
convince you, and can get about the business of understanding what is behind
the feeling...and when that is clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need
advice.
Feelings that seem irrational make sense when we
understand what is behind them. That's
why prayer works sometimes, for some people---because a Higher Power doesn't
give advice or try to fix things. He just listens and lets you work it out for
yourself.
So please listen and just hear
me. And if you want to talk wait for
your turn and I will listen to you.
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