In today's world,
it seems like everything is addicting doesn't it?
Many times people associate "addiction" with drugs and alcohol
and are not aware of the other addictive behaviors and thinking patterns
that effect and infect our lives.
Exactly what is addiction?

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Addiction 101

The truth is although we can and do develop chemical dependencies (the body believes it needs the chemical to function), when the substance wears off and the body detoxes, the chemical dependency disappears.  If the person avoids all use of the chemical (or substitutes), the dependency will become dormant and remain dormant unless it is re-activated.

What doesn't disappear is the memory of the effect (the feeling) of the substance or behavior. The bottom line is we excessively, compulsively, and additively do things to regain the original "good feeling" we originally got from the substance or behavior.  We often seek out "feel good" solutions to compensate for aspects of emotional and physical discomfort we have in life.

To make matters worse, we come to believe that the solution to pain is pleasure.  When we have been in pain (emotionally and physically) we feel entitled to have our "pleasure."  We come to expect it and then demand it.  It never dawns on us to resolve the problem and remove the pain.  We get into a cycle of needing to keep a lid on the bad feelings and we find our self experiencing the old saying "too much (pleasure) is never enough."

Rather than dealing with the specific addiction (which is merely a symptom), Life Skills U offers program to uncover and discover the underlying feeling that is the cause of excessive, compulsive, and addictive behaviors.  Once the underlying cause is clear and corrected, you can learn how to stop doing what is not working in your life, so you can start doing what does work. Click for more information.

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Understanding What Causes Addiction

Our Human Needs: All people have five basic needs that must be fulfilled.

• Survival
• Freedom
• Usefulness
• Love
• Self Identity

If an individual is not able to fulfill these basic needs (or if others are unwilling or unavailable to support the fulfillment of these needs), an individual will experience a perception of being less than those around them.  They lose their sense of being equal with others and begin to experience feelings of not being good enough.

When this perception takes place a progressive chain reaction begins to develop.  The perception of inequality causes the individual to take on an attitude of defensivenes.  The individual's mind to become closed and distrustful of those around them.  The individual's mind focuses on the Basic Needs that are not being fulfilled, which results in the "Hurt Cycle":

• Thoughts of being hurt which turn to blame (the individual will find a target)
  "Why are you doing this to me?"
  "It's your fault!"
• When blaming others for the lack of the fulfillment of one or more of the Basic Needs doesn't make the perception of inequality (fear) go away, the thoughts turn to anger.
  
• When anger doesn't make the fear go away, the thoughts of anger turns to guilt.
  
• When guilt (blaming oneself) doesn't make the fear go away, the thoughts and feelings turn to shame.  Shame is a decision that I not only have done something that is wrong, but I AM WRONG.
• As the feeling and the thoughts continue to grow, state of apathy (repressed rage) sets in and the state of victim set in.
  "Do what you want to do, I don't care what happens"
  "Just leave me alone".
• The person will try to stay there until they finally settle into depression (anger turned inward) or erupt into hostility and rage.

In an attempt to overcome the progress nature of this kind of thinking, the individual will attempt to find a solution outside themselves to get back in control and to feel pleasure.  Now pleasure becomes the solution to fear and the awareness that needs are not being met.  

Common solutions to pleasure are sex, money, drugs, alcohol, stealing, lying, manipulation and on and on and on. Once the path is set to find the solution outside oneself, dependency begins.  In order to insure the supply of the solution, control of the solution must be established and maintained.  The result is a fear based controlling personality begins to form.  

• Control: I have to be in control of ...
• Judgment: I will judge others so as to avoid being judged by others
• Dishonesty: In order to remain in control and avoid judgment, I must keep secrets, tell half thoughts, or lie

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 Removing The Blocks That Hold You Back
A Three-Stage Process

• Stage 1 – Breaking through the denial cycle by admitting there is a real problem:
• Denial - Admitting there is a REAL problem.
• Bargaining - "Let's make a deal".
• Anger - Expressed as hostility, resentment, and/or depression.
• Helplessness - Nothing will ever change... it is hopeless.
• Acceptance - Now we deal with reality and go on with life.
• Stage 2  – Education through understanding:
• The true nature of the problem
• Learning how to think
• Making new decisions
• Taking action
• Having accountability
• Stage 3  – Ongoing Support by maintaining and continuing the decision process by participating in an environment that is:
• Based on principles
• Implementing a new way of thinking
• Discovering the true nature of one's self

This foundation of self-awareness creates a platform on which to develop true positive self-esteem and pass through the following five critical stages of recovery.  Unless each stage is completed, there will be no permanent and long-term recovery.  This personality affects and infects all people such an individual come in contact with.  This is addiction.

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A Proven Solution

The Life Skills U solution to addiction is offered through a program that consists of a combination of offline computerized courseware in the eMod Learning Systems™ format and online classes held at Life Skills U in our virtual classrooms with live interactive voice over the Internet (VoIP).  It's just like talking on the phone except it is over the Internet and you connect with others worldwide.  All you need is an inexpensive microphone on your computer.

Additional VoIP facilities include:

FREE Auditorium - Large group instruction of up to 500 seats worldwide

FREE Coffee shop - Meet, greet and chat with others 24-7

FREE Structured classes - Ask the instructor questions or send private text chat messages

FREE Study Groups- Meet with peers and explore the eMod material from multiple perspectives.

Click here to find out more

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For Those Already In Recovery:
Are You Still Stuck?

Despite his many years of physical sobriety (behavior control), Bill Wilson, the co-founder of AA, was still left with deep emotional scars. He discussed this in a letter to a friend that has been published in an article titled, "Emotional Sobriety."   In this letter he concluded that before he could find peace he had to give up ALL his dependencies, including AA.   

To address this problem of a need for Emotional Sobriety, Life Skills U offers a unique non-confrontational, non-disclosing process to solve this problem called Breaking The Barriers.
Click  for  more details.  

Through this unique approach, new people entering recovery as well as many people already in a recovery program often with many years of sobriety, discover that they still struggle with excessive, compulsive and addictive behaviors in other areas including: Chronic worry and stress, Sex / Pornography, Gambling, Eating, Working, Shop-lifting, Control issues, Unfulfilling relationships, and Other chemical dependencies like caffeine, nicotine and sugar.

Many feel they may have done something wrong in their existing recovery or that they have not done enough.  Sometimes they leave the program, sometimes they go to another program, sometimes they do more of the things they have already done like service work, working with newcomers, more meetings or a combination of all of the above only to find themselves still stuck.

Many people find it very uncomfortable to talk about their other struggles with their friends, and sponsors within their meetings.  This can often lead to a build up of pressure and consequent deepening of the addictive cycle.  Yet they still struggle to hold onto their sobriety and social position (ego) in the recovering community.  

Until there is RESOLUTION to the unanswered questions in a person's life there will be no peace and no emotional sobriety.

UNTIL NOW there has only been the use of a "professional" or "self help" as a resource to find this resolution.   Click for more details.  Both of these approaches require "TOTAL DISCLOSURE" and as a result are not effective for many people.   Part of the excessive, compulsive, and addictive nature is to keep some things a secret.  Thus disclosure is not an option for many people in recovery.

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Emotional Sobriety

Bill Wilson co-founded Alcoholics Anonymous as a program to help alcoholics stop drinking. This program has been used as a foundation for other excessive and compulsive recovery programs.

Through his sobriety, he found that to have physical sobriety was not enough to produce a content and peaceful life.  He knew that he had to find more.  

Bill wrote a letter to a friend, later published as an article in "The Grape Vine", AA's monthly magazine and included it in a book of his Grapevine writings titled "The Language of The Heart," in which he saw the path that recovery must take.  

Bill said..."I kept asking myself, 'Why can't the Twelve Steps work to release depression?' By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer , . . 'It's better to comfort than to be comforted?' Here was the formula, all right. But why didn't it work?

Suddenly I realized what the matter was..."  Click here for the rest of the story.